Walls

Some days I leave school thinking "why on earth did I ever want to be a teacher?" Today will not be one of them. Right now I am reminded why I did and why I now know that being a teacher is not my calling.
People have walls...mental walls, physical walls, emotional walls...walls that take a long time to tear down whether that be from the inside or outside. I remember adoring some of my teachers; not only were they good at what they did but they made me feel "safe" enough to make mistakes and "safe" enough to ask for help when I needed it. Some of my students felt comfortable with me very quickly and I knew that they knew I would always be there to help or just listen. Today I sat and talked with a student for 35 minutes about real life. He "let me in" just a little. I know he needs to verbalize what he's thinking and I know he wants to...but he's scared...scared of adults who appear like their out to get him, scared of failing in school, scared friends who run their mouths, scared of losing the control he has worked so hard to gain, and scared of himself. I can't say I blame him...nor can I say I have any answers...just ears.
It's days like this when I realize it is time for the "trees to stand still". It is time for me to find a home so that I am not constantly walking in and out of kids lives. I have spent this entire school year trying to tear walls down and now 6 weeks before I am leaving there is a glimmer of hope. And seems like that has happened everywhere I have lived.
Anyway...that's what I am thinking.