"life giving"

I had an interview today...as the interview-er for a change:) It was a good interview. I hope she ends up coming. Something she said really left an imprint on me though I honestly don't even remember the context of exactly why she said it. It was the phrase "life-giving." Which probably doesn't sound revolutionary in itself but man it really hit me.
A friend/co-worker and I often talk about vision and how stress and politics muddy the once clear waters of why we do what we do. Listening to this young woman talk kind of cleared the waters for me again. She shared about being very interpersonal and how exciting it is to hear/watch participants have those 'ah-ha' moments. As I listened, I distinctly remembered writing my cover letter for the Woods. I wrote about my desire and passion to be a part of growth in others whether that be through adventure education, coaching gymnastics, teaching, a/o mentoring. Today I have been remembering how being a part of that growth in others is life-giving to me and how I need to look wide-eyed so I can recognize when it's happening no matter how small.
I have to admit it was a rough night at gymnastics, LOADS of energy spilling out everywhere BUT they actually trust me now. Three months ago they didn't want me to spot them, now they are nervous without me close by. Honestly it does my heart good to feel needed and well, wanted. The best part of the whole thing is this great cycle of giving life. In enabling/challenging others to grow, I am encouraged, rejuvenated, and also given the opportunitiy to grow. What goes around certainly comes around!

So what is it that is 'life-giving' to you?

Oreo

Meet Oreo...the bunny formerly known as Jadzia. For some reason I finally got motivated to get a rabbit. I had done some research about rescuing a rabbit a while back but it seemed complicated. Last weekend I decided it was time for a little more digging. I found an animal shelter online about half an hour away with a couple rabbits. When I called Tuesday evening they still had the one I wanted and there was just enough time for me to get there and fill out the paperwork. But by the time I arrived he had been adopted! Booooo! The lady at the shelter let me play with the 4 other rabbits in need of a home and a short 30 minutes later I was walking out the door with Oreo! She's a Giant Lop, so she doesn't quite fit in the cage the way Izzy did. I tried to give her a small area to be free in but she doesn't really like to be barricaded so now she's just free in my room. She's pretty spunky and docile at the same time. She runs around the room, jumps up on anything she can, and then takes a load off behind my futton. She's not exactly a cuddler but she'll get there:) Here she decided to burrow in some yarn. At one point all I could see was her rump sticking out:)

in one moment

I spend a lot of time thinking. I think about where I am and where I want to be, who I am and who I want to be. My thoughts often end in defeat--either by falling asleep or the conclusion that I have no idea what I need to do to get where I want to be geographically and on the inside. Last night I was catching up with a friend and we got into that very conversation. In one fleeting moment she said she didn't want to do youth ministry again it's time for something else. In that moment I realized, neither do I. Whoa! Did I really think that? I am still a little bit in shock of this realization.
Since I graduated from high school (ten whopping years ago), until I moved to Indiana, I have been doing youth ministry. And up until last night I had every intention of getting involved with the youth ministry in my church here. I heart teenageers, there's no question about that, but I am weary. Weary and defeated because more of the time than not I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. And so as a step in the right direction I am going to find something for me to do...for me. I don't know what it's going to be, let's hope it's something good.

it can be done

Over the last few weeks, I have spent a lot of time working. It's almost been like working at summer camp again because the days run into each other and I never seem to get out of the stack I am under. Maybe it's purely because I'm female...but there have been many ups and downs...really downs that cause the ups. I am continuing to learn about the people I work with and well frankly how we can be a team under pressure. We had a REALLY big program last week, big in numbers and big in significance. This program caused a lot of anxiety and frankly conflict. I have been overjoyed to know that all our hard work paid off. Rumor has it we "hit it out of the ball park".

contentment and brokenness

In the recent weeks I came to a realization...I am more content in my job than I have ever been before. Granted I haven't been in my position very long but it's still an exciting realization. This all came to mind because I work with people who are discontent and my heart has been so broken for them that I almost feel guilty about being content. Ironic, right?
My heart also breaks because I know they don't share my freedom in Christ...and that's where it starts. Don't get me wrong I have been a christian and very discontent...but I have never been alone. I simply just don't know how it is that people make it through each day without that. Hmph.

balance

Life really is about finding some kind of balance, right? Balance between work and play, giving and receiving, moving and stopping. Its not easy. Since my "promotion" I have stayed late in the office more nights than not...though I have been told to go home. I just want to get settled in my space as well as with people. When I go home I just want to sleep or just sit and look at my freshly painted walls. One of these days I'll get settled...eventually I'll find a rythmn.

lilies

I love lilies, especially orange ones. Just like in my header. They have been popping up all over the place. I am sure they won't last long but you can be sure I will enjoy them as long as I can!